Thursday, September 27, 2007

Gratitude


Thank you all for your kind responses to my bad day. They are all appreciated and all made me think. Thank you, Anonymous, for the Conversations with God quote. Very fitting.

I had a wonderful day off yesterday. I walked to my favorite bookstore and took time to really look all I wanted. I left with two books. One was on Ganesha and I bought it mostly because I liked the artwork in it. The other was about labyrinths and different ways of walking them. I am enjoying it a lot.

I walked to a consignment shop and had a look around and then walked back home.

I did a lot of meditating, walking and soul-searching.

I made a decision.

I'm giving them my notice.

I've been waiting for a sign. DUH! Let's see....I don't want to go, Patrick said, "hey, why don't you not go?", and ummm, oh yeah, I don't want to go. I want to be home, doing things that matter to me and to this family. I honestly can not make myself care whether or not Stein Mart or the credit card company make a profit. In fact, asking people if they want a credit card knowing that when I run it through, their credit score goes down, is very difficult for me. Yet I am required to do it.

Does anyone else see the dunce cap on my head? Why have I even needed to think about it? What is there to think about?

I am so grateful for this decision being made. I was having trouble focusing on the NOW because my energy was being used to think about the decision.

That will be a lesson to me (and perhaps to you?) for the future. Anything keeping us from experiencing the NOW should be dealt with quickly.

Our thoughts are so important; so powerful. I can see where my thoughts have led to things I've wanted and not wanted. I am still learning every day. It's a wonderful journey. Life is amazing.

I'm so glad for you, my friends, who are so good and kind to me whether I am running, walking or tripping on this journey.

I appreciate you.

Edit: I just came back to say, I kept waiting for something to happen so that I felt "safe" leaving this job. But sometimes we have to leave first, trusting that something wonderful is about to happen. I know with all my heart that I am making the right decision and that an amazing opportunity is coming to me or will be created for me or by me.

It's the same feeling that I had when I began to look for Patrick. I am so grateful that I listened to that voice inside me, for life with him is beautiful and I am at peace. His genuine love for the boys and me is comforting and gives us all a sense of safety and peace, and we offer it back to him without reserve.

Ok, I have to get to w-o-r-k now. I have my resignation letter typed out and ready to hand in.

Love you guys.

15 comments:

Angela said...

Wow, Lisa. Good luck today. You know, there's been something with almost every job I've had that I was uncomfortable with in some ethical way. Whether it was the insurance company (no explanation needed), the newspaper owned by a huge conglomorate that cared nothing for the community, or my current job where I'm constantly ducking from my boss in one way or another. I'm starting a side business. I won't be able to quit my job yet, but maybe some day. When I realized that I've been teaching my employers how to work with integrity I realized I could be a boss myself - and probably be happier at it. I'm so glad for you. Yaaahhhhh!

S. Holland said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
S. Holland said...

I've had many jobs that I was not satisfied with because of my ethics and integrity. I have quit jobs because of it and I have been having a lot of problems with jobs the last 5 years or so.

I know that I will be supporting myself through my creative work. I just have to push on and push through to realize the dream. It is not easy to step out on faith and it is scary. Having to have a job to pay simple bills and having to keep one at this time is the real problem, because I don't have anyone to fall back upon. My income is my only source for my upkeep. The job situation gets in the way of my creativity. It takes my time and energy and I have little time for creative projects. But, I always keep 3-4 projects going in various stages of completion. And I use every available moment for artwork.

So, when I am sad and discouraged I remember that I do know someone, I do have someone. I know God through his son Jesus Christ and it really makes a difference in my life. I am not alone nor am I without resources because I know Him.

And I also know creative friends like you who encourage and motivate me just when I need that extra boost.

Congratulations on your decision and have a wonderful day!

LMS(oceandreamer) said...

To have all of this angst going on inside you...all of the push/pull of income vs total happiness..it can definitely weigh down all the manifestation for what you really want(and deserve). I am glad you made your decision...freeing that from your soul I see BIG things happening for you. Wonderful things, amazing things!
Interestingly enough I have always been told I should write children's books. Did I? um, no. Would I like to? Um, yes. Why haven't I? That's a really good question!
Pursue that Lisa...Pursue all your heart desires...as you said you did that with Patrick and WOW.....
Sending you good thoughts - relief - love and hugs!
XOXOXO
L.

Olivia said...

I'm excited for you, Lisa, that you have the courage to step out and follow your heart. We only have this one life, and if we don't risk following our heart, what do we have? And what have we lost?

It will be a big day, and I wish you blessings and joy through all of your new changes. I know that you'll end up in a much, much better place!

Melba said...

So much of what you write resonates with me. I really like the video you shred a few posts back and I have been thinking about how I want to word my own dream.
I have been intending every day and meditating (almost everyday it is difficult to find quite with two toddlers around)
I am wishing you light on your journey.
Thank you for sharing here.
XO,
melba

GreenishLady said...

Well done on finding the courage to act. As Julia Cameron says: "Jump, and the net will appear". THat's what you're doing. I'm sure the right path will open up for you now you've cleared the way.

Janet said...

Fantastic! I'm so glad to hear that you're leaving that job. It seemed to cause you so many troubles and obviously was not for you. Leaving it will open so many new and exciting doors and you'll look back and wonder why you didn't do it sooner.

Kate said...

Lisa,

Glad to see you made the decision. You definetly were made for better things. They will start to appear in your life now, I am sure of it,

Hugs,

Kate

tinker said...

Wow, Lisa - I think I may have needed to read this myself. It's hard to just let go of that security - but what security is there really, in doing something that no longer feels right? Just scrolled down and read about your yesterday, and I'm sending you so many ((hugs)) and well wishes - wishing you everything you wish for yourself. XOXO

Pam Aries said...

Lisa..I just read your post about your Bad Day at work. You have no idea how much I relate to this! Every day !

Gemma said...

About 2 months ago I followed my heart and got out of a job with behavior problem students in a Jr. High. My stomache was in knots...just couldn't do it. So what if I'm not making money....
we live in an abundant Universe...follwing your heart is always best!

Orange Blossom Goddess (aka Heather) said...

Scary but exciting! You'll be fine - this was all meant to happen.

Beverly Keaton Smith said...

Hey Lisa, Congratulations! No easy decision. I can relate to where you are right now. I love Julia Cameron's quote..."Leap...and the net will appear." It takes lots of courage to take that leap and you've got it. Can't wait to see what doors will open for you now...Bev

violette said...

I'm glad you quit Lisa......good for you. I'm so happy that your life with Patrick has been so good and peaceful. You deserve it girlfriend.

love violette