Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Bad Days

I had a bad day yesterday. It started out as "one of those days." You know, those days when you drop everything you pick up or traffic seems out to get you.

I prayed all the way to work, as I normally do. When I say, "pray", I don't mean petitioning so much, I mean I give thanks for the wonderful (and sometimes, not-so-wonderful) things in my life and I tell the Universe what I intend and expect. I often say that I am love and light to others, customers and coworkers.

Yesterday I did that, too, but I also asked the Universe to make it easy for me to know I wanted to leave my job. I chuckled at myself as I backtracked and told the Universe that I didn't want anything bad to happen, though. (Old views of a vindictive or tricky God resurfacing).

I could feel that the negative ideas about work continued to stay with me, despite my prayers.

Every customer coming in seemed to anger me, "Don't you people have anything better to do with your money?"

Then, other things began to irritate me.

Finally, a woman came in and made a negative comment to me about something in the store. I tried to be nice and she kept on with it and I let a smartass comment find it's way through my mind and right out my mouth. She left in the middle of the sale, making sure to get my name and letting everyone in the store know just how evil I am.

Later I was being quizzed by "corporate" about something totally unrelated, just job stuff and the woman came back by, made a note of my nametag, "Lisa.....good." Then she stood in the doorway smiling in a way that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and walked out.

"Corporate" asked, "was that your buddy?" Yep.

By then, of course, I was fighting tears. When my little test was over, I drove home for lunch and cried for half an hour and then went back to work.

I felt horrible that I had allowed myself to lose my focus. I wasn't light. I wasn't love. I just reacted to negativity with negativity, leaving a void, a big dark hole, in her day and mine. One small comment caused chaos and emotion for all those surrounding us. It was totally unnecessary. It bothered me all night.

But today is a new day. Today there is another chance to be light and love. I have meditated and filled myself with divine, radiant, loving energy.

I also don't have to go to work. :) That should help.

I must find another way of contributing financially to this family. Retail rapes my soul. I cannot relate. I know the Universe will show me the way. But first, I must concentrate on the future rather than obsess on how much I don't want to work retail. Thinking about how much I don't want to work retail gets me...guess what? Right...more working retail. All the Universe hears is "work retail, work retail, work retail..." Bam....Here ya go, Lisa...retail.

This is for the Universe..."write children's books, edit, write about spirituality, teach SoulCollage, create, and watch the money flow in." Got that Universe? Thanks :)

Feel free to chime in.

Thanks for listening to my ranting and venting and praying.

I have such a wonderful life and have no excuse for feeling sad so I'm going to stop it right now.

I'm going for a walk to look at children's books. A coworker told me, out of the blue, that she could see me being really good at writing books for children.

I am taking it as a message from the Universe and looking into it. What do you guys think about that? It's crossed my mind before but I've never seriously considered it before. I'm rambling. I'm not going to reread this because I have a sneaking suspicion that I would end up not sending it.

Love you all.


Patricia J. Mosca said...

Listen to your heart...the answers are there!

Anonymous said...

The deepest secret is that life is not a process of discovery, but a process of
creation. You are not discovering yourself, but creating yourself anew.
Seek, therefore, not to find out Who You Are, seek to determine
Who You Want to Be.
Your job on Earth, therefore, is not to learn (because you already know),
but to remember Who You Are. And to remember who everyone else is.
Judge not, then, the karmic path walked by another. Envy not success,
nor pity failure, for you know not what is success or failure
in the soul's reckoning. Judge not, and neither
condemn, for you know not why a thing occurs,
nor to what end. And remember
you this: that which you condemn will condemn you,
and that which you judge, you will one day become. Rather, seek to change
those things—or support others who are changing those things—
which no longer reflect your highest sense of Who You Are.
There is perfection in the process—and all life arises out of choice.
Your own life is the way it is because of you,
and the choices you have made—or failed to make.
All that is required is to know this. For you are the creator of your reality,
and life can show up no other way for you than that way in which you think it will.
Thought is pure energy. Every thought you have, have ever had,
and ever will have is creative. The energy of your thought never ever dies.
It leaves your being and heads out into the universe,
extending forever. A thought is forever.
The Laws are very simple. 1. Thought is creative. 2. Fear attracts like energy.
3. Love is all there is.
So—do you want your life to "take off"?
Begin at once to imagine it the way you want it to be—
and move into that.
Check every thought, word, and action that does not fall into harmony with that.
Move away from those.
The most difficult thing for people to do is hear their own soul.
And every Master has likewise had the same message: What I am, you are.
What I can do, you can do. These things, and more, shall you also do.
All attack is a call for help.
Life is a creation, not a discovery.
Enlightenment is understanding that there is nowhere to go, nothing to do, and
nobody you have to be except exactly who you're being right now.
Remember, you are constantly in the act of creating yourself.
You are in every moment deciding who and what you are.
You decide this largely through the choices you make regarding who and
what you feel passionate about.
Yet never resist anything. If you think that by your resistance
you will eliminate it, think again. You only plant it more firmly in place.
All thought is creative?
There is only now; an eternal moment of always in which you are experiencing yourself.
The point of life is therefore to create—who and what you are, and then to experience that.
This is the process of Self realization about which Eastern mystics have written.
It is the process of salvation to which much Western theology has devoted itself.
Yet the purpose of relationship is not to have another who might complete you; but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.
A Master blesses calamity, for the Master knows that from the seeds of disaster
(and all experience) comes the growth of Self.
What you do for your Self, you do for another. What you do for another,
you do for the Self.
This is because you and the other are one.
So much of your present experience is based on your previous thought.
New thought is your only chance. It's your only real opportunity to evolve,
to grow, to truly become
Who You Really Are.
True Masters are those who have chosen to make a life, rather than a living.
To change your reality, simply stop thinking like that.
Go ahead and do what you really love to do! Do nothing else! You have so little time.
How can you think of wasting a moment doing something for a living you don't like to do?
What kind of a living is that?
That is not a living, that is a dying!
Worry is just about the worst form of mental activity there is—
next to hate, which is deeply self destructive.
Worry is pointless. It is wasted mental energy.
It also creates bio-chemical reactions which harm the body,
producing everything from indigestion to coronary arrest,
and a multitude of things in between.
Worry, hate, fear—together with their offshoots: anxiety, bitterness, impatience,
avarice, unkindness, judgmentalness, and condemnation—all attack the body at the
cellular level. It is impossible to have a healthy body under these conditions.
The world is in the condition that it's in because the world is full of sleepwalkers.

Angela said...

Everyone has bad days, everyone has good days too. I am there for ya girl. I know that others can tend to say frustrating things at times. What I do is try to ignore them. I know that it's hard but please don't let the negative energy that they send out affect you. You are a bright, loving person. The answers that you are looking for are deep within you. :) I know that they are there for you are a wonderful human being. *HUGS*

craftyhala said...

I'm so sorry that you had a bad day. I understand how you can get frustrated in the retail world. There is a customer here that i talk to at least once a month and she is rarely happy. I just want to tell her to take her business elsewhere, but the owners might not like that too much, so I put on the happy face and go on. One day...well, I dread the day I lose patience with her.
I hope you find the best thing for you and the sooner the better eh?
I try to remind myself that some people can't help how they are, like maybe they have a "glitch" in their wiring and don't know any other way of being, so I try to keep that in mind, but oh it's not always easy.
Be happy Lisa and follow your heart.

Janet said...

So sorry to hear you had a bad day. Working with the public can be stressful. We all have days when we don't feel great and we tend to slip back into our "old" ways but you're such a strong, positive person I can't imagine you lingering there for too long.

Ninnie said...

Lisa yes I think you should look into children's books. But above all be true to yourself. Love Hugs and Blessings

Dot said...

Hello sweetheart..
I am sorry to hear you had a bad day and am sure that working with the public can have it's challenges.

You have made so many positive changes in your life I am sure a change in career is next.

You would be SO good at writing (and illustrating) childrens books. Love and miss you.

Dot xx

KaiBlueCreations said...

The little voice inside your soul, speaks to your heart and it sends messages to your mind.. LISTEN and you'll never go astray..
Peace, Kai xx

judie said...

Sending you HUGE hugs, and letting you know that stupid woman made a "choice" to be rude to you, and her choice will come back to her.
As Patricia said, "listen to your heart". And as "anonymous" said, ..."and that which you judge, you will one day become." Her choice to be rude and judge you will come back to her. Cause and Effect! It is the way of the universe.

Lisagirl, I KNOW you have a good heart because I just opened my mail!!! ;) xoxoxoxoxoxo