Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Feeling Guilty

Ok, I'm feeling major guilt and am wondering if you would or if you would have done the same thing. My son has a good friend. Sweet boy (16) who lives across town. He spent the night on Tuesday night, planning to go to work with Mike who is doing some tree-cutting and hauling work. The boy went to work with Mike but got sick so they brought him back here. He spent the whole day here yesterday just hanging out, but you know, he was sick, so ok. He "cleaned" the boys' room by picking up the clothes that I had stacked by their dresser. (I was waiting for the boys to go through them and tell me what they no longer ever wear so I could get rid of them) He put those clean clothes in a garbage bag with a few dirty socks and, of course, today I have to re-wash all those clean clothes.

Last night they both went bowling with some friends and he spent the night here again. I was assuming he would work today. I got them up, fed them breakfast (plus fed another friend who stopped by to go to work with them) but it turned out the company owner could not use him today, just Mike and the other boy, so he's been here all day again, just hanging out on my sofa. He slept a couple of hours then read, just hanging out. He's very quiet. Very nice guy. But for some reason, this was just driving me batty. So I said something to Patrick, who then as nicely as possible, offered him a ride somewhere "now."

So Patrick is taking him home and I feel both relieved and guilty.

I want kids to feel at home here. Truly I do. I love it when my boys' friends hang out here, but when it's just one of their friends without them, for two days? Not so much.

How would you have handled it.

As he was leaving, I said, "See you later." He said, "I'll see you guys later. Thanks for all your hospitality." For a minute I thought he was being sarcastic.

I'm still not sure.


Art by Darla Kay said...

I think you handled it perfectly!!
It used to drive me nuts when my own kids sat around and did nothing, but yeah, to have their friend doing it when they're not even home? I would have been a little bonkers myself :)


Manuela@A Cultivated Nest said...

I think you handled it perfectly! I don't think anyone should expect to just hang out at a friends house if their friend is not there!


Unknown said...

I agree, Lisa. You handled it perfectly. Kids don't always know limits -even older kids. Who knows? Maybe there's no one home during the day. Maybe no one has ever said to him "I want you home by a certain time." Or, "Make sure you check in with me."
Just another thought.

Lisa said...

Thanks so much. I feel better. When Mike got home I told him about it and he was glad we sent him home. I mentioned that he told Patrick that he likes to hang here because it's quiet and his mom is noisy. Mike and his other friend said that's because his Mom is always telling him to go do something (like get a job. lol) I feel much better now. :) Your comments were helpful all through the day!

Melissa said...

Wow, what an awkward situation. Good for you. I am glad you said something.

Hey, thanks for stopping by bloggin' it. To answer your question: I would suggest you try a magic easer on your vinyl flooring. Those puppies can work wonders. If that cleans it up I would try, instead of a swifer, a microfiber cloth mop. You can buy them at Walmart or order one from Don Asletts cleaning supply. I wrote post on my blog about my deep love for my mop. Anyway, you don't need to keep buying pads, you just wash them the cloth and you don't need fancy cleaning solutions. Water works great. Best of all, you don't need to haul a bucket of water around. You just wet the cloth, attach to mop and off you go. On really tough spots I pour hot water on it and let it sit a few minutes, then mop it up. I hope this helps. :)

Good luck,

Pam Aries said...

Hey,,,he's a teenager...they know NOTHING ! ha...Don't worry about it. It's only Teenage Wasteland...!! lalal!