Friday, December 04, 2009

Seeing Stars


This is the prim gift Patrick brought home. I've been using the same tree topper Angel for over 20 years and have been wanting a prim star for a while now. Patrick was visiting one of our merchants, Oh My Stars, the prim shop so I said, "bring me back a star topper." hehe And he did. It's perfect. I love it. I was like a little kid jumping up and down with excitement.

I was planning to take pictures and show you yesterday but I received a message yesterday that my dad died the day before. While we had no relationship and I knew he had been sick, it still came as a bit of a shock. I wasn't sure how to feel about it all. As I told my mom, I don't really grieve the loss of him but I grieve what never was and I'm sad that he never had a revelation that made him want to have a relationship with his family before he died. I am more sad for my brother who has tried to be good to Dad all these years. I quit trying 20 years ago and washed my hands of him.

I do feel sad but it's very hard to explain or even understand why.

So anyway, that's why I didn't post yesterday. I didn't get much done and have a ton of work to catch up on today. I'm almost there. Just thought I'd take a little break to chat with you for a minute and show you the awesome star.

19 comments:

Janet said...

Lisa, I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I think I understand how you feel as I didn't have a good relationship with my dad either. When he died I really didn't feel much about it. And like you I grieve for what we never had. Hugs to you.

PS - your prim star is so pretty. You have found a good guy!

Fairy Footprints said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.


(¯`'·.¸(¯`'·.¸*HEIDI*¸.·'´¯)¸.·'´¯)


“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Mtt. 5:4)

denise said...

SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. IGUESS I WAS LUCKY BECAUSE I HAVE A WONDERFUL DADDY. HE'S 87 YRS. OLD AND HE'S IN DELAWARE'S VETERANS HOME AND LOVES IT THERE. IT WAS SUCH A BLESSING FOR MY MOM WHO'LL BE 83 ON CHRISTMAS DAY. OH,BY THE WAY I LOVE YOUR STAR.I'M LOOKING FOE SOMETHING SIMILAR FOR MY "ANTIQUE TREE". HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!

Rue said...

The star is beautiful - perfect!

I am sorry that your dad passed without ever trying to get to know you or improve your relationship. Perhaps you'll have another journey with him somewhere down the road.

JoyceAnn said...

Hi Lisa ~ Beautiful star , Patrick has great taste.
Sorry to hear about your Dad or the loss of would could have been. I kinda understand what you're feeling , my Dad was an alcoholic , we went through many rocky years. Thankfully our relatonship got better a few years before he died and he gave up alcohol all together the year before he died. So even though you didn't have a great relationship or things didn't change , just know that it was in the Stars for a reason. Love him , forgive him and let it go , your life is beautiful anyway.

~ Hugs ~

The Vintage Sister said...

I'm sorry to hear about your dad but I'm glad my post made you laugh!
Happy holidays!!
Tracy

Julie-ann Bowden said...

Lisa, so sorry to hear about your dad and double sad as he never realized how beautiful his family is. Bless you so much!
Sending a big hug!

Julie

Cabin Creek Farm ♥ said...

I lost my dad when I was a young girl so I know the longing feeling of wanting a dad to love you. I am so sorry about your dad's passing.
Sending you blessings

Lisa said...

Thank you all so much for your kind comments. They are extremely comforting and I appreciate them from the bottom of my heart.

Our Primitive Heart said...

Sorry for your loss, I too have the same kind of relationship. So know how you fill.
Big hugs to you Lisa,
Cindy

tattered 'n torn prims said...

Oh Lisa, I'm so sorry for your loss.....both now and all those years ago!!! I'm sure it is very difficult to deal with and soooo many emotions to feel as well!! Perhaps in some ways this has been a very long goodbye!!! I hold you in my thoughts and prayers!!

Take care!!
Stacey

BTW....thanks for the tips on the Sudden Values site.....I'll scope it out tomorrow!!:O)

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
gemma said...

I am sorry for your loss. All of those things that might've been said will now never be said. I finally was able to forgive my father. He was human after all.
Sometime humans just don't know how. Sending you a hug.

Manuela@Pleasures of Homemaking said...

Sorry about your Dad and totally understand as I've been there myself.

The topper is cute!

Manuela

Jessie said...

Lisa, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. It is a loss because now he's actually gone, even though you didn't see him very much. You have every right to grieve as you would if he was close to you, maybe even more so, because now it's so final. Love to you and your family, Jess xx

Charmingdesigns said...

Hi Lisa. I haven't spoken to my dad for 10 years. He decided he didn't want anything to do with me, my husband and his granddaughter. It is
his loss, and I'm sure you "let go" a long time ago. I did. I will have the same feelings you are having once he is gone from this earth. Thanks for coming by to visit. Laurie

Laura Hegfield said...

Lisa,
It's hard to know what to say here...except perhaps, I'm sorry for your longing? For what never was?...seems to me you turned pretty fine anyway...but still, even without the "typical" daughter-dad connection...their is grieving of sorts going for you...again...not the typical kind...but for what wasn't.

sending you a big hug as you integrate this slightly different reality into your being.

I hope these were the right words...they were the only ones I could express in this situation.
xoxo
Laura

judie said...

Many families have members who are not close. Sometimes it's sad, but we make the best of it. You made the best of you....that's what counted. If he had tried to know you, he would have been proud. xoxoxo

julie mitchell said...

I had a similar relationship with my father...I understand how you felt when your past...not grief for his passing but true sorrow for what never was, and the end of hope that we would ever have a father/daughter loving relationship. hug, hug