Monday, March 26, 2007
A little heart pouring...
These are my first two Soul Collage® cards. I've had a strong interest in them for a while and have enjoyed looking at, probably, hundreds of them online. Tonight I finally started doing my own. I've linked to their site so that you can read about the cards if you're interested.
I would really like to take the facilitator training so that I could do workshops. I think collage can be so healing. Right now she only teaches on the West Coast. I just may have to figure out how to get there.
Today I have felt both happy and sad. It was a perfect Spring day. The Bradford pear trees are blooming, the redbud is coming out and the air has a soft breeze. I put the windows down in the car and turned up the radio as I ran errands. It felt really good. I love having the windows down and being able to smell the different smells of town..food, cigarette smoke from other cars (hey, it's been a year since I quit smoking..I need to get my jollies somewhere), and some of the trees have a heavenly scent. These things all made me feel happy.
Today I lost my copy editing job. I miss Tim. I am already preparing to miss Nick as he is going out of town on a school trip. I've contacted a few friends here in town who haven't responded and I'm struggling with feeling lonely, yet never alone. These things all made me feel sad.
I struggle with this voice inside me who points and laughs at this 42-year-old woman suddenly deciding to make little pictures and call herself an artist. I'm better at writing, yet I don't enjoy it. I don't enjoy writing just for the sake of writing. It has always been my best vehicle for the expression of ideas, particularly ones of a spiritual nature. Now I am finding that collage and painting are another vehicle. I would like to combine them in some way that helps people. I feel at a loss for how to do that and feel excited that an answer is around the corner, at the same time.
I am full of paradoxes today. It's funny. In my heart, I feel joy. It's incredible joy. Yet I feel melancholy. How can that be?
Thank you for listening, my friends. I try not to do this too often, but then sometimes I think it's good to show our souls a little bit.
Don't worry. I feel more joy than melancholy. I feel like something big is brewing..something good. I feel incredibly joyful. The sadness will pass.
Thank you for being such faithful friends.